For couples who are in the limelight, it’s often harder for them to admit their relationship isn’t working or try to find the help they need to improve their situation and make the marriage work.  

Let’s face it no one wants to admit things are going wrong or that they’ve made a mistake—especially if this was their second or subsequent marriage.  

In the case of superstars like Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, who have every inch of their life scrutinized, it’s even harder for them to reach out and find the help they need before it’s too late, not to mention admit to their family and friends their marriage is over. 

Luckily, most of us don’t have to also tell the world as well.  I find in this difficult situation for them, the most admirable thing Jennifer and Mark Anthony have done is come to an “amicable conclusion on all matters”.  

So how do you find that happy medium when you break up? Where do you turn when the world falls apart and you’re too embarrassed to let your family or your best friend know because you don’t want to admit you’ve made a mistake, or that things aren’t as wonderful as you pretended they were? 

How do you create a path to say goodbye without destroying what’s left or allowing bitterness to coat your interactions with your soon-to-be ex-partner? How can you remain respectful toward them, especially around your children?

One of the things I recommend is going to “divorce counseling”.  

This is a program I developed years ago, which allows you to part ways in an amicable manner, complete with a ceremony. 

In divorce counseling, you learn how to say goodbye to each other as husband and wife as you begin to say hello to a new identity for yourself.  

It’s learning how to pick up the pieces and create a new life for yourself and your children, regardless of who has custody.  

Divorce counseling enables you to put closure on the past, and even allows you to mourn what was so you can establish a new and healthy relationship with yourself, your ex-partner, your children, and all those who remain in your life.  

Divorce isn’t the end of the world even though it seems that way—it is a new beginning.  A new path. A new journey. If you can begin to see it this way, then the path won’t be as dark or rocky.  

Dr. Charley Ferrer is a world-renowned Clinical Sexologist and the only Latina Doctor of Human Sexuality in the United States. She is the award winning author of The Latina Kama Sutra, The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman, and The Passionate Latina: In our own words. In August, she is releasing two books, BDSM for Writers and BDSM The Naked Truth. She is the founder and Executive Director of the Institute of Pleasure whose primary mission is to provide education on relationships, mental health services to women and men, and conduct research on sexuality. She can be reached at questions@doctorcharley.com.For more on Dr. Charley, go to www.instituteofpleasure.org.

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